BREAKING: Elon Musk has purchased Sochaczew and announced plans to turn it into the world’s first fully autonomous city
During a surprise landing of his private jet at a local field, Musk declared that “Sochaczew has the perfect aerodynamic shape for a city of the future.” Every resident will receive a free Cybertruck, but only if they legally change their first name to “X.”
The Bzura river will be renamed to “Bzur.ai” and will flow exclusively on weekdays. Tesla bots will replace pigeons in the main square. The mayor confirmed that traffic lights will be removed because “real innovators don’t stop.”
Construction of the Hyperloop to Żyrardów begins next Tuesday. Musk ended the press conference by tweeting “Sochaczew to the moon 🚀” and immediately falling asleep on a bench near Biedronka.
[this post is a satire]
